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I go back to university today. I'm really looking forward to it: the freedom, the fun, the friends. But, I am going to miss home. I've gotten used to the presence of the family and it is going to be rather weird leaving it all behind. Hopefully, the journey won't take too long... not really looking forward to having to re-organise my room because they put in new furniture and all of that. That will take an age, no doubt!
The plans for tonight are rather unclear. I'm not sure if I will go out... seeing as lectures begin tomorrow and I have reading to do. However, Unite or Liquid are rather tempting. I love Bollywood music and United is full of that. And Liquid, probably just youthful yanky tunes. Both, really good.
Okay, what a day today was! The feeling in my gut this morning was something I have never experienced before in my entire life... today was the day I sat - and passed - my practical driving lesson. And, what makes this moment even greater is that I passed first time round with only two minors (16 minors or more and you fail!). As soon as Leroy (my examiner) turned around and said 'And I'm happy to say that you've passed' my immediate reaction was 'You're kidding, right?!' I really was not expecting to pass, especially after one of my manoeuvres was the reverse around a corner which I have always sucked at. Nonetheless, I did it to perfection.
So, what did I learn from today? Well, firstly, how incapable I am at controlling nerves. More importantly, I learnt that to succeed, you have to be part of the moment. You need to be present with what you are doing and by doing so you become truly aware of what is going on around you and are therefore able to process your thoughts clearly and logically. Try it. Hooray for revelations!
This blog doesn't really have a purpose other than a vent. I often receive the tag of 'spoilt' and 'unappreciative' which can be rather hurtful when they're not actually true. I am aware of the sacrifices that are made for me. For example, for Christmas I got a ToyWatch, a Pandora Charm Bracelet, Miley Cyrus tickets, Jack Wills clothing, All Saints clothing, Chanel perfumes and some other things. The truth of the matter is that I do understand the sacrifices made and the general cost of such things. It is just irritating when people judge you wrongly.
It seems that 'thank you' no longer carries with it the meaning that it was originally assigned. Personally, a single 'thank you' that is sincere goes further than a dozen thankful comments. Am I wrong? Furthermore, if you are lucky enough to receive lovely presents... can you not cat-walk them as it were?
Okay, well, what a night! This evening I told my dad's side of the family that I'm gay which includes my aunt, my bampy and my biological dad. It happened after my aunt was asking whether I had a girlfriend and I really thought it was time they were brought into the equation. My only fear was my bampy because he is already an out-right racist and so the news of his grandson being gay could have just been additional ammunition. However, he took it amazingly well after having a bottle of Jack Daniels. He goes 'when you get to my age, Steven, you realise just how quick life is and just how important it is in life to be happy. And of course, this comes from being truly who you are, no masks. So, if being gay makes you happy then I am happy too'. It made my throat go dry, I just wasn't expecting that reaction at all. He even added that the majority of gay people are intelligent such as Oscar Wilde and his only worry was the gay seen, known for its promiscuous nature.
I can now fully embrace my dad's side of the family and start seeing them again. Contact died off after a family argument in 2008 and then last year was a bad year for all of us and so 2010 can be a new beginning. And we can spend a lot of time together, with me being who I am and with them being accepting of me.
Over the past few years, I have been creating, developing and then ditching various websites. With the new year now here, and a new journey approaching, I thought it was time to put my diary online. Some days it will be boring, some days explicit and some days just damn right exciting.
I am now at Essex University studying Politics. I have no idea what I would like to do as a future career: politics, retail management, talk show host. I really do not have a clue. I have various idols including Oprah Winfrey, Eckhart Tolle and Marc Cherry.
